How to Support Children with Anxiety During Family Gatherings and Holiday Events

The holiday season is here! For many of us, that means family gatherings, parties, festive meals, and sometimes a packed social calendar. While holiday celebrations can be joyous, they can also feel overwhelming for children, especially those with anxiety during holidays. 

For parents, this season offers a valuable opportunity to help kids build confidence in social situations and develop strategies for managing anxious feelings when gatherings become too much. 

If you’re looking for ways to help your child enjoy the season stress-free, here’s a guide filled with warm, gentle advice to keep your child feeling safe, comfortable, and ready to make some happy holiday memories.

1. Recognize the Signs of Anxiery During Holidays

The first step in supporting your child is recognizing the signs of anxiety. 

Each child experiences anxiety differently, so it’s helpful to know what it looks like for yours. Common signs of holiday anxiety might include:

• Withdrawing or avoiding eye contact
• Becoming clingy or more dependent
• Showing signs of restlessness or irritability
• Complaints of stomach aches or headaches
• Struggling with sleep before or after events

These symptoms can be subtle and might look different from child to child. Keeping an eye on changes in behavior can provide clues, so you can step in and provide support as needed.

2. Prepare Them Ahead of Time

One of the best ways to help ease holiday anxiety is by preparing your child for what to expect. 

Talk to them about the event ahead of time: who will be there, where it will be, and what activities they might enjoy.

Consider creating a little “social story” together—a short, simple story or conversation that goes over what to expect. 

For example, if they feel nervous about big gatherings, you can go through what they might see, hear, and feel, and then talk through different coping strategies they can use if they start to feel overwhelmed.

3. Create a “Calm Down Kit” for Holiday Events

If your child is prone to feeling anxious, a small “calm down kit” can be a lifesaver! Fill it with comforting items that help your child relax. 

Here are some ideas:

• Noise-canceling headphones or earbuds with soothing music
• A small fidget toy, stress ball, or other calming object
• A soft blanket or favorite stuffed animal for younger kids
• Deep-breathing cards or visualization prompts (simple drawings or words they can focus on)

Let your child know they can take a break whenever they need it and use anything in their kit to feel better.

4. Practice Breathing Techniques Together

Simple breathing exercises can be incredibly helpful for managing anxiety. 

Practicing these techniques at home can help your child feel prepared to use them in public. For example, try the “5-Finger Breathing” exercise:

1. Hold up one hand with fingers spread.
2. Use the pointer finger of the other hand to trace up and down each finger.
3. Breathe in as they trace up, and breathe out as they trace down.

This type of focused breathing can help kids stay calm and distract their minds from overwhelming thoughts. 

The bonus is that it’s quiet and can be done anywhere, even at the holiday table.

5. Give Them an “Out” if They Need It

Family gatherings can be bustling and full of excitement, which can sometimes lead to sensory overload for kids with anxiety. 

Let your child know that it’s perfectly okay to take breaks and find a quiet space if they need to. Set up a cozy corner or space in advance where they can recharge if things get too intense.

In larger family settings, it might be helpful to bring along a book, tablet, or quiet activity they enjoy. 

This way, they have a familiar retreat and an activity that keeps them engaged but calm.

6. Keep Communication Open and Positive

Check in with your child during the gathering to see how they’re feeling. 

A simple “How are you doing?” or “Do you need a break?” can be very reassuring. If they express discomfort or anxiety, acknowledge their feelings without judgment and let them know it’s okay to feel that way.

Remind them that they have coping strategies and can choose to take a break whenever they need. 

This can help them feel in control of the situation and reduce the chances of anxiety escalating.

7. Encourage Them to Bring a Friend

Sometimes, social anxiety is easier to handle when there’s a buddy around! 

If possible, consider letting your child invite a friend to a gathering or event. Having a close friend or cousin by their side can make large gatherings feel less intimidating and can add a layer of comfort and familiarity to the setting.

8. Model Calm, Relaxed Behavior

Kids often look to their parents for cues on how to react in social settings. 

If they see you feeling calm, positive, and relaxed, they’re more likely to mirror that attitude. 

Take a few deep breaths if you start feeling stressed, and show them that it’s okay to slow down and take things one step at a time.

9. Plan a Reward or “Wind Down” Time After the Event

Celebrating their bravery and resilience in handling a big gathering can be a fun way to reinforce positive experiences. 

Plan a quiet “wind down” activity they enjoy after the event, like a favorite movie, a cozy storytime, or a special treat. 

This reinforces the idea that they have successfully navigated a challenging situation and gives them something to look forward to, reducing anticipatory anxiety.

FAQs on Supporting Kids with Holiday Anxiety

1. What is the best way to help my child feel prepared for holiday gatherings?

Prepare your child by explaining who will be there, where the event will take place, and what to expect. Practicing social stories, setting up a calm-down kit, and teaching coping strategies can make the event feel more manageable.

2. What signs of holiday anxiety should I look out for in my child?

Signs can vary but may include withdrawal, irritability, clinginess, or physical complaints like stomachaches. If your child seems distressed or uncomfortable, step in to offer support and let them know it’s okay to feel this way.

3. How can I help my child manage overwhelming feelings in crowded settings?

Encourage breaks and find a quiet place they can retreat to if things become too much. Bringing calming items like fidget toys, a soft blanket, or noise-canceling headphones can help them feel more comfortable.

4. Is holiday anxiety something kids will grow out of?

While anxiety often changes as children grow, certain situations (like holiday gatherings) may continue to be overwhelming. By supporting them with coping strategies now, you help them build resilience and self-regulation skills that they’ll carry into adulthood.

Holiday events can be a source of joy for kids and families, and with the right tools and support, your child can navigate these gatherings with confidence. 

Happy holidays!

 

 Children’s Mental Health Services in Houston, Texas

Accepting Medicaid & Private Insurance